Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
