Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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