just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
two words: eviction party
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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