dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
