I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
