I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
