He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
