i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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