you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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