I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
