he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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