Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Michael Bay diarrhea
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Randomize
