I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
