we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
