I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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