Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
