my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
just tell him i said nine months
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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