its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
