every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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