Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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