I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
