I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
