My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
