oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
