butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
