the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
