He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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