The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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