And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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