Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
