i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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