Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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