if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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