ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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