i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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