My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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