wat bout pragnant strippers??
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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