I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
