can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
