Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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