hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
