you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
