On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I currently don't understand fingers.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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