They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
