That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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