They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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