ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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