I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
