I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
