so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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