yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
