he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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